Babysitters are just teenagers who behave like adults so that adults can go out and behave like teenagers.
Due to the economic crisis and ever increasing price of food, the 5 second rule has now been increased to 10.
I'm starting to think that adult supervision is a myth. In fact, my eyes seem to be getting worse.
The only bad thing about my seven figure salary is that it includes a decimal point.
College Football Logic: Your team won: Celebrate with beers! Your team lost: Better drown my sorrows in some beer.
Friday gets way too much credit. I'm still at work, right?
My wife thinks I can read minds. Well, she hasn’t said it out loud yet.