Insightful Statuses

We should be thanking our Dads for bringing us into the world, not our Moms. She probably wasn't in the mood...
The iPhone 5c, named after the hourly pay rate of its assemblers.
There are no bad pictures. That's just how your face looks sometimes.
Hipsters love Raiders of the Lost Ark because it's the first Indie film.
When Miley Cyrus gets naked and licks a hammer it's "art" and "music." When I do it, I'm "wasted" and "have to leave Home Depot."
If you think you are unattractive just remember you look like your ancestors and hey all of them got laid
Anger is just passion having a bad hair day.
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