Insomnia improves your math skills. You spend all night calculating how much sleep you'll get if you "fall asleep right now".
I'm trying to decide if I should update all my software "Not Now" or "Remind Me Later".
Denise
Help wanted: Local club seeking experienced comedian. Serious applicants need not apply.
I miss being able to slam my phone down when I hang up on somebody. Violently pressing "end call" just doesn't do it for me.
I'm holding cheerleader tryouts for my fantasy football team.
You'll notice you never see sweatpants with "Classy" written across the butt.
There are two types of people: People who go to sleep on time and people who have Netflix.