I gave her four orgasms but they were all mine.
I defy you to see a motorcycle with a sidecar and still be in a bad mood.
Sometimes it’s just easier to eat the last slice of pizza than fit the box in the fridge.
If "she'll be riding six white horses when she comes", she's probably a little more woman than you can handle
The Starbucks guy just said, "Looks like you had a rough night!" I didn't even go out...
I lost a very close friend and drinking partner last week. He got his finger caught in a wedding ring.
Shout out to old people for graduating high school without Google.