I’m glad we don’t have to hunt for our food any more. I don’t even know where sandwiches live...
Why does everyone want me to come out of my comfort zone? I worked really hard to get there.
The Fourth of July is an annual reminder of how useless my dog would be in a war.
Either that was a firework, or another Tribute is dead!
Finding someone you want to sleep with is easy. It's finding someone you want to wake up with that's difficult.
I named my dog "5 miles". That way I can tell people "I walk 5 miles everyday!"
They're making a Taken 3. I'm starting to think Liam Neeson's very particular set of skills suck.