Cris
There's never been a lazier group of people than the ones that settled on naming a candy bar "Whatchamacallit."
Cris
I’m in big trouble if my coworkers find out that I really don’t have Tourette’s
Cris
My roommate complained that I never lifted a finger to help around the house. So I lifted a finger. Apparently, it was the wrong one.
"You wouldn't hit a man with glasses, would you?" - No. I'd hit him with knuckles.
I bet the worst part about being single is knowing that even Hitler found someone who loved him.
According to Pinterest, I'm severely under-utilizing mason jars.
Cris
"Are you single?" "No, I'm in a committed endless discussion about where to have dinner."