I’ve never seen my baby floss. GROSS! No wonder he only has two teeth.
Starbucks is banning smoking within 25 feet of their stores. It's tricky, because every Starbucks is 25 feet from another Starbucks.
Amigo
The only reason women's minds are cleaner than men's is because they change them so often!
I just saw a giant spider in my room so I sprayed it with hairspray. It's not dead, but its hair looks fabulous.
Amigo
“Screw it” – My final thought before making most decisions.
I wonder what hookers think about all these roundabouts.
Dance like nobody's watching, sing like nobody's listening, Facebook like the NSA doesn't exist..