I hit a new low today and used a cheat code on Wii Fit
Being in the Friend Zone is like an employer turning you down for a job, then calling regularly, bitching about the person they hired.
If vampires can't see themselves in mirrors, how do they trim those perfect goatees?
I've just been accused of being 'a plagiarist'! Their words, not mine.
Cyberbilly
It's funny how things change when you get older. It seems like just yesterday I would spend my evenings on the front porch and treat myself to some killer weed. Now I spend my evenings in the front yard treating it with weed killer.
I hate when the person I Facebook-stalk never updates anything
I want to start a band called "Day Job" so that when we play and people say "don't quit your day job" I'll be like "thanks we practice a lot".