Cris
My roommate complained that I never lifted a finger to help around the house. So I lifted a finger. Apparently, it was the wrong one.
Cyberbilly
I don't trust joggers. They're the ones that always find dead bodies. I'm no detective. I'm just sayin'.
Nolan
Walmart made plans to hire 100,000 U.S. Veterans. Which can only mean one thing: Walmart is going to invade Costco.
Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, he'll have a new excuse to avoid his wife.
When one door closes, another one opens; that's the main reason I'm convinced my house is haunted.
Just saw a doctor eating an apple. My whole life is a lie.
The only difference between Mcdonald's and my work is Mcdonald's has only got one clown running the show..