Gas prices aren't really that bad when you remember that you're essentially buying badass dinosaurs in liquid form.
Girl Scout cookie season is scientifically timed to occur just as people are giving up on their New Year's resolutions.
Cyberbilly
Don't die a virgin. Seriously, there are terrorists up there waiting for you.
Yoga pants are just push up bras for your butt.
February was invented by landlords who wanted your rent a few days earlier than usual.
Whenever I feel intimidated by someone I imagine them drinking out of a hamster water bottle.
At this point journalism school probably boils down to, "Just say what everyone tweeted."