Dave Asten
I'm going to switch my car insurance from Geico to Allstate, then to Statefarm, then back to Geico. If my calculations are correct, they should owe me $837.
You can drown in two inches of water. I’m not reciting facts, I’m making suggestions.
Research shows that, when someone shouts "Oh no he didn't!", he in fact did.
My room is as clean as the 5 dollar movie been at Walmart.
The highest state of defense readiness in the US is DEFCON 1. More commonly known by women as: "I'm fine."
Are people really going to take this Mayan end of the world thing serious?! They couldn’t predict the Spanish coming, how could they predict the end of the world?
To whoever has my voodoo doll, scratch between my butt cheeks... I'm in public