Instead of throwing the first pitch, it'd be fun if Presidents had to quarterback the first play of a football game.
If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I'd just laugh and search with them.
I am 25, but, when I am called "sir," I always interpret it as an acknowledgement of British nobility. To which I always respond "Thank you, peasant."
"I just saw the coolest thing on Pinterest!!" - said no man EVER
Dottie Mabry
When in the presence of greatness, I am inspired to the heights of my mediocrity.
One day I saw this little girl near a volcano, talking to a monkey while dancing...so I called social service's on Dora's mom and dad...
Terry Burcham
"Everyday I'm Shuffling" - Casino Dealer