May your life someday be as interesting as you make it out to be on Facebook.
So there's a film where a man's wife is brutally murdered by a serial killer and his son his left physically disabled. In a twist of events the son is kidnapped and kept in a tank while his father chases the kidnapper thousands of miles with the help of a mentally challenged woman. Finding Nemo is quite the thriller.
I'm going to change my name on Facebook to "benefits" so that when you add me, it will say, "You are now friends with benefits."
I do 5 sit-ups every morning. No, it doesn't sound like much, but there's only so many times you can press the snooze button.
Does anyone know how long you can keep a chicken in the freezer? I put one in last night and it was dead this morning.
My wife says "camping is a tradition in my family". It was a tradition in everyone's family until we invented houses...
Every now and then when I'm in a room alone I say out loud, "I know you're listening". If I'm wrong, nobody knows. If I'm right, I just freaked the hell out of some guy.