If I were a shepherd, I would never take inventory of my flock for fear of falling asleep on the job.
You'd think Tigger and Eeyore would have traded some of their meds
I'd be calmer defusing a bomb after four Red Bulls than watching my parents use my laptop.
Why do people always make such a fuss over how much a newborn weighs? It's a baby, not a stash of heroin.
I wonder if bugs ever feel like things are crawling on them.
As most students head back to school, this seems like the right time to point out that the anagram of dormitory is dirty room.
I judge the authenticity of a Chinese restaurant based on the number of typos on the menu.