I'm writing this from the hospital. Don't worry! The doctors say I'm going to be ok, but I must warn you. They Dyson Ball Cleaner has a very misleading name!
Hats off to Jeff Goldblum, Will Smith, and that alcoholic crop duster for saving the world 16 years ago today - thanks guys!
Being a father is a lot like being the least powerful Vice President in history.
Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
If people were meant to pop out of bed first thing in the morning, we'd all sleep in toasters.
The Internet. All of the piracy, none of the scurvy.
Michael Mendoza
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give their vacuum one more chance?