Michael Mendoza
The only time I look forward to red street lights is when I'm trying to finish a text.
Michael Mendoza
I wonder if people in wheel chairs get depressed when they listen to stairway to heaven.
Live forever or die trying.
Is it considered drinking alone if you're on Facebook?
Kim Kardashian's marriage to Kris Humphries was even shorter than the line of Trick-or-Treaters at Casey Anthony's house!
Cyberbilly
Peter Parker was lucky that radioactive spider bit his hand and not his ass or he'd have shot out a web every time he farted.
Cyberbilly
How come when you get your wife or girlfriend pregnant everyone rubs her belly and says "Congratulations!" but no one ever rubs your junk and says "Good job!"?