The first word I want to teach my kid is "brains". Then, until he/she learns another word, I'll have the cutest little zombie ever!
A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down, unless that medicine is insulin.
These animal crackers suck the elephant tasted exactly like the giraffe!
Apparently, Twilight is “so popular” because teenagers can relate to it. “Oh yeah, I remember that time when I was a Vampire."
Face your problems, don't FACEBOOK your problems.
I have come to the conclusion, that dryer lint is the cremated remains of all of my missing socks.
I wish computer companies would design a keyboard with a removable crumb tray, kind of like my toaster.