Socks have the highest divorce rate.
If people winked in real life as much as they do in texts, the world would be a really creepy place.
Actually, the guy who paid for the first prostitute must've had the world's oldest profession.
HD porn is so clear that you can actually see how disappointed their parents are.
Someone asked me "Who do you prefer, Chris Brown or Rihanna?" In hindsight, I shouldn't have replied, "Chris Brown beats Rihanna every time."
If Facebook retains ownership of everything you post, I'm going to upload my debt...
Long day. Can't wait to get home and curl up with a good The Internet.