I'm surprised people still ask me if I want to hold their baby given the number of times I've dropped and shattered my phone.
I didn't trip. The floor gave me a dirty look, so I attacked it.
The Little Mermaid was basically a hoarder.
Once you start making Freudian slips, it's just one after a mother.
overing someone's eyes and saying "Guess who?" is a really fun way to make friends... Especially at urinals
You never realize what you have till it's gone. Toilet paper is a good example.
Superman had a really trustworthy dry cleaner.