I have to take my paycheck to the bank. It’s way too little to go by itself.
Why do my kids think me answering an important phone call is code for “start screaming”?
WebMD is the perfect website if you want to find out you have 14 different types of cancer and possibly other deadly diseases.
Smother your wife with love and affection. If that doesn't work, use a pillow.
I'm tired of money playing hard to get.
Having sex with me is like reading an iTunes agreement: It takes forever and few people choose to do it.
We should all be thankful for Facebook & twitter. The way gas prices are headed, we may never actually SEE our friends again.