Insightful Statuses

I'm going to buy you a condom for your head, because if you're going to act like one. You might as well dress like one.
Dear Dora, How the hell do your get your shirt over your head. Sincerely, Physically impossible
Moms, you can't live with them and you can't be alive without them.
Common sense is like deodorant... The people who need it most never use it.
I look at people sometimes and think..for real? That's the sperm that won?
I like you. People say I’ve no taste, but I like you.
The tribal tattoo is the male version of a tramp stamp.
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