If I want something done right, the LAST thing I would do is do it myself.
Don't feel like typing a long response to an email? Write a short one and then add "Sent from my iPhone"
I wonder who is harder to find, Waldo or the father of Snooki's child?
Based on US obesity rates, soon people will walk for president.
I had a Chris Brown joke saved up but it looks like somebody already beat me to the punch.
We could end world hunger with the amount of crumbs that come from Nature Valley Bars.
Whenever I feel like I'm behind w/ technology, I remind myself that people are still calling radio stations to request songs.