Insightful Statuses

I wish that I would get a popup for "possible virus" when I meet new girls.
I think I wasted my 15 minutes of fame trying to save money on car insurance.
Is the Hallmark Channel for people who got a greeting card and said, "Wow, I could watch a half hour of this!"?
I will not tell anyone you said, "Hi."
My shrink says if I take these pills I won't see you guys anymore.
I guess we'll never find out who let the dogs out.
Looks like my get rich painfully slow scheme isn't working either.
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