my new boyfriend calls me a stalker. Well he's not actually my boyfriend.... YET
What kind of sick and cruel method do they use to assure that Baby Shampoo is safe for a baby's eyes?
Say "no" to drugs all you want because talking to inanimate objects is the best way to show people you're sober.
If my body worked like a car, I'm sure the "check liver" light would be on.
My parents told me I couldn't be a pirate when I grew up. My movie and music collection says otherwise.
It's all fun & games until someone slips a paintball into your bag of frozen grapes.
Next time your in a silent elevator ride with a stranger, turn to her and say, "I'm sorry we're fighting."