As an alternative to dieting, I'm going to simply refer to myself as "value-sized".
I'm not 100% what oxidants are, all I know is I'm supposed to be against them.
I liked dubstep when it was called starting your dial-up modem.
A fun way to creep someone out is to take their Facebook profile picture and make it your Facebook profile picture.
My Grandpa confused the term "butt dial" w/ "booty call." I almost fainted when he said "I booty called your mother last night."
Thank God Beyonce had her baby and can go back to work. For the past 6 months that family's had to live entirely on Jay-Z's salary.
She plays hard to get, I play hard to get rid of.