I make my own luck. It's mostly bad but still.
Wanna know if you're poor? Check the drawers in the kitchen. If you find a ketchup packet you're poor.
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the fire department usually uses water.
Romeo and Juliet is just another example of why communication is so crucial in a relationship.
When I really need a good laugh, I just imagine Edward Scissorhands attempting to eat crab legs.
The only people who really love change are wet babies.
I'm gonna start a band called "free beer" so that when people see a sign that says free beer @9pm everyone will be there.