Me, stalk?! No, I just observe.. behind a tree.. at night.
Wanna hear a joke about a pencil? Nevermind, its pointless.
My co-worker asked me what is the name of the show where they go fishing and catch all the crabs. I told her it was "Jersey Shore".
The soundtrack in Hell is the Glee version of your favorite song.
If you’re still writing 2011 on checks, try on line banking like the rest of the world.
This status is brought to you by Paperclips, the staple for people with commitment issues.
I used to eat a lot of natural foods. Then I realized people die of natural causes...