Anyone else really happy that the headline so far tonight is "Santorum in tight three-way"?
I'm not stealing my neighbor's WiFi, their WiFi is trespassing into my house.
My kid asked me today when her boobs would come in. I told her with her genes it'll be when she has $5000.
Proofreading is seeing what the alcohol content is.
Living in a country where obesity is on the rise and skinny jeans are becoming a fad, I fear for the future.
Just took a shower. You have no idea how hard it was to sneak that thing out of Home Depot.
When I die, I want someone to keep updating my Facebook status to freak people out.