I hope my New Year's Resolution to only say nice things about people isn't misinterpreted as a vow of silence.
The fact that people use the wrong "your" and "there" yet spell "Bieber" correctly bothers me.
I've got something up my sleeves. Arms.
Seeing a spider is nothing. It becomes a problem when it disappears.
Just burned 800 calories! My microwave fried my Hot Pockets.
Typing. Like. This. Doesn't. Make. Your. Point. Any. Stronger. It. Makes. It. Look. Like. Your. Computer. Has. Asthma.
If they have an Ice Cream Truck for kids, why don't that have a Beer Truck for adults?