After a night of drinking, there is only one thing I can't stand, and that's up.
There are two kinds of people I don't trust. Schizophrenics.
I bet crocodiles are pissed off that "crocs" no longer stands for "gigantic vicious reptiles," but now means "crappy shoe."
What if those people on Hoarders saw too many Pixar movies and are just scared to throw inanimate objects away?
Auto correct has to be my worst enema.
I'm never really in a hurry until it's clear that person driving in front of me isn't either.
They say you are what you eat. So I'm going to start eating skinny people.