You know you’re in America when you can buy replacement cartridges of ink for $29.25, or buy a brand new printer with ink for $39.95.
Trail mix containing chocolate is just a deconstructed candy bar.
In Capitalism, Man exploits Man. In Communism, it's the other way around.
Virginity is like a soapbubble, one prick and it is gone.
Watching "Batman: The Movie", Batman is hanging from a helicopter with a shark biting his leg. He asks for Robin to pass him the "Shark Repellent Bat Spray" If shark repellent existed I would totally keep it in my helicopter, because that's where I would most likely run into sharks.
Tomorrow marks the 207th anniversary of the Burr-Hamilton duel. Given current political impasses, why can't we bring this tradition back?
Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank, give a man a bank and he can rob the world.