I'm not lazy, I’m energy efficient.
Tim Tebow is the most talked about white Bronco since the OJ chase.
I have to use sarcasm because punching you in the face is illegal.
If at first you don't succeed, try again may be good advice, but trust me, the judge doesn't want to hear it.
I always seem to lose things when I get drunk. Like my dignity...
Disney World is a lot like Viagra. They both make you wait an hour for a two minute ride.
Will you be my "it's complicated" on Facebook?