Santa's creepiness factor would rise dramatically if he laughed instead with a "hee, hee, hee."
1+1=3...If you don't use a condom
Tangled earbuds are the new rubik's cube.
What's with all the excessive tanning on Jersey Shore? If I wanted to see talking carrots, I'd watch Veggie Tales.
The sick bastard who put the ‘D’ in Wednesday must be the same genius who put the ‘R’ in February.
What's a burnt pizza, frozen beer & a pregnant girl have in common? In each scenario there was an idiot who didn't take it out in time.
My life has a superb cast... I just can't figure out the plot.