Don't waste electricity. Would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?
Trump has called Huntsman and Paul "joke candidates". All over the world, pots and kettles share a forgiving embrace.
My dog just broke a mirror. Poor bastard. Forty-nine years of bad luck.
I wont be impressed by technology until I can download food.
You know your getting old when your friends start getting pregnant on purpose.
I will never understand why people get so upset at things I don’t even remember saying.
A picture may tell a thousand words, but Photoshop turns those words into lies.