Somebody needs to tell the people who make Lucky Charms to stop putting cereal in my box of marshmallows.
Kid birthday parties should just be called get your child sick gatherings.
I'm all for saving the world, just not necessarily the people.
I'm not saying she's a slut, but if her vagina was a video game it would be rated E for everyone.
Microsoft sounds like the nickname for my ex boyfriend.
Whenever I panic about my eventual death I think "Someday an oldies station will play Ke$ha," and I'm no longer afraid.
Screw the road less traveled...it doesn't have 3G.