I wish people had a brightness setting.
Charlie Brown should see a Good Grief counselor.
I was just dishonorably discharged from Old Navy.
No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping paper tube is still a light saber.
Dear girls who say they want to date a vampire, AIDS is spread through blood too. Sincerely, maybe you should reconsider...
I can hear the pitter patter of little feet in your future. You're going to make a great cat lady.
Yes. There is a hole in my sock. If there wasn't, how would I put my foot in it?