It should be a law that you have to leave a note on the waffle box if you use the last of the syrup..
One of the best feelings in the world is not having to set your alarm clock.
It's strange that Kermit was the Muppet who sang "It ain't easy being green" and not Oscar, the filthy homeless one.
The things that come to those who wait will be the things left over by those who got there first.
My Doctor told me low vitamin D levels are a Diabetes risk. Well, what he actually said was “Go outside, Fatty.”
The trouble with lawyer jokes is that lawyers don't think they're funny, & nobody else thinks they're jokes.
Nothing boosts my self esteem more than being around people who think they're better than me.