When eating to celebrate the holidays, remember that a waist is a terrible thing to mind.
Teaching my kid how to spell. They're having a tough time, but I give them an "A" for Affort.
I'm getting a mistletoe tramp stamp so everyone knows they can kiss my ass.
Saw a Chinese Santa Claus in the mall today. At first I thought it pretty strange, but since all the toys come from China, that does seem to make perfect sense...
The suburbs: Where they rip out trees, and name streets after them.
Twilight did to vampires what Brokeback Mountain did to cowboys.
I'm still scarred from the first time I tried to find Dick's Sporting Goods' website.