Ever notice how Voldemort has a diary, necklace, ring, tiara, and an obsession with a famous teenage boy? Apparently no one but me finds this awkward.
Marriage advice. Twice a week the wife and I go out for a nice, relaxing meal. She goes on Mondays and I go on Fridays.
You call it it multiple personalities. I call it social networking in my head.
Being unattractive is just playing the dating game on hard mode.
Picture Darth Vader singing "A Few of My Favorite Things" and you'll have some idea of the kind of thoughts that go through my head daily.
Why don't you slip into something a little more comfortable? ...like a coma.
This Thanksgiving, I'll be roasting a pheasant stuffed with a duck that's been stuffed with mutton. I'll be serving a hot Phuckewe.