Men have three basic hairstlyles: parted, unparted and departed.
Guys do a pretty good impression of a meerkat whenever a pretty girl walks into a crowded bar.
The internet is a terrifying place for people with a phobia of cute cats.
Dear girls who have been dumped, There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all dead. Sincerely, BP
Sometimes I watch basketball holding a ps3 controller just to screw with my grandpa's head.
I was just in a store that sells hipster gear and I couldn't believe the prices. I never realized that it costs so much to look that poor.
I pointed to two hags sitting across the bar and told my friend "That's us in 10 years". She said "That's a mirror".