Are rhinos just unicorns with a thyroid problem?
History is written by the winners. Browsing history is deleted by the perverts.
Women only fake it in bed because men fake everything to get them there.
Just realized Siri only works on iPhone 4S. No idea who the lady I've been talking to is.
"I just launched a new fragrance!" is a great way to announce a fart.
Snooki just wrote another book, which is an amazing accomplishment considering she's still trying to learn how to read her first one.
If you're buying a cell phone in England, be aware that the camera adds 10£.