Insightful Statuses

No matter how many college degrees you have, there's a little British kid that sounds way smarter than you when they speak.
Have you ever wondered why you can always read your doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription?
Who named Trojan condoms? The Trojan Horse entered through the city gates, broke open, and loads of little guys came out and messed up everyone's day.
I hate double standards. If my wife calls me 'daddy' during sex, it's supposed to be hot. I call her 'mommy' and it's game over.
If seeing is believing, then how come looks are deceiving?
The problem with daylight savings time is around midnight you start to feel like you're struggling to stay awake before you realize it's only 7:00 p.m.
Remember that being called weird is like being called Limited Edition. Meaning you're something people don't see that often.
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