Insightful Statuses

Why do they call it "the birds and the bees"? I can't imagine those two getting freaky with each other.
According to new research, too much sex can cause temporary amnesia. Finally, something that explains my photographic memory.
There's enough alcohol in my house to put me in the hospital yet I'm completely sober. Does that mean I'm an adult?
I've been trying to throw away my garbage can for 7 months.
I'm a cubic zirconia in the rough.
Halloween is the season for haunted hayrides. How much would your afterlife suck if you were forced to haunt hay for eternity?
Why do people say "Nice to meet you" before I've even said anything? How do you know it's nice to meet me? I'm a jerk.
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