They should make Hoarders Highlander where hoarders fight other hoarders and the winner gets all the stuff.
Moses would be the best lifeguard ever.
Is it weirder that a guy tried to get cans of green beans through airport security or that they didn't let him?
My car having a key-less ignition has saved a lot of idiots that park way too close to me so much money on car repairs.
You know you're ghetto when the sorting hat puts you in Waffle House.
Babies with sunglasses are hilarious. They're like tiny blind, jazz musicians.
My heart is syncing... RIP Steve Jobs