The best part of my morning is when my cat curls up in my lap and falls asleep. I really don't want it to end. Hence the duct tape.
I can be up bright or early. Pick one.
I only use Facebook to complain about new Facebook features.
A real man is a woman's best friend. He will never let her down. He will comfort her after a bad day. He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do. He will enable her to express her deepest emotions. He will enable her to be confident, sexy, seductive, and invincible...No, wait. Sorry. I'm thinking of wine. It's wine that does all that. Never mind.
When a group of midgets do the wave do they call it the ripple?
Pro tip: When traveling, choose your rest stops wisely. I just had to explain to my 8 year old what, "ribbed for her pleasure" means.
I know I'm not the only one who does the Carlton dance every time I hear the song "It's Not Unusual".