I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
Lori
why does a dog smell worse than a human? cause a dog has four armpits.
An elderly man is stopped by the police at 2a.m and is asked where he was going at this time of night. The man replies, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effect it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late." The officer asks, "Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?" The man replies, That would be my wife."
I wonder if Foosball tables look like mini shishkabob buffets to a cannibal.
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker, but when I got home, all the signs were there.
Rec Rellim
If Eve cursed an entire human race for an apple, I can only imagine what she'd do for a Klondike bar.
My doctor calling to confirm my prostate exam is as close as I get to a booty call.