Before you make fun of someone, walk a mile in their shoes...that way, when you make fun of them, you are a mile away and have their shoes
Did you know that people insecure in their writing abilities use an inordinate amount of exclamation points? It’s true!!!!!
Just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream.
Don't get so puffed up when someone calls you a pillar of the community...so was Lot's wife.
How did the hipster burn his lip? He ate some pizza before it was cool.
You'd think after all these years that Warner Brothers would hire a speech therapist for Elmer Fudd and Porky Pig.
"Hold your breath it gets better." - Aladdin/David Carradine.