Today I saw a baby with a bib that said "This dumbass put my cape on backwards."
My Masseuse just read 'Cinderella' to me ~ That's the last time I ask for a happy ending.
To prepare her for real life I make my daughter pretend to tweet on a toy phone when she's taking a crap.
Good news is my daughter paid back the $3000 she owed me. The bad news is she gave it to me in singles that smell like whiskey & cigarettes.
Baby snakes probably throw a lot of hissy fits.
They can probably ditch the "Insane" part, as it's pretty much implied in the concept of a posse made entirely of clowns.
Whenever I eat refried beans I think about how the guy who fried them first must have done a crappy job.