I really don't understand why I can't have a unicorn on my fantasy football team.
If you think your cat loves you, just remember it would probably yawn and fall asleep while watching you get murdered with a rake.
Women say that men have it easy because we never experience childbirth. How the hell do they think we got here?
If I open a Laser hair removal office but can't strap women down and re-enact the Bond scene from Goldfinger, then what's the point really?
So weird how, when you honk as soon as the light turns green, I can't seem to find the gas pedal.
I don’t care what my former employers say, at least all my eBay feedback is positive.
Would a protest to legalize marijuana be a March of Dimebags?