Insightful Statuses

I couldn’t find a parking spot at my job this morning so I just left. They got enough people.

Studies show the most expensive vehicle to operate is a Costco shopping cart.

When I say “I hate drama” I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan.

Kids are fun, but I prefer playing with the package they came in.

Without a doubt, the cashew is my favorite nut that sounds like a sneeze.

Teens don't know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing the wrong crap for years until the truth destroyed us.

So my best friend when I was a kid was Andy Zoff. He was the fastest boy at my school.